Baby Talk - 1/22/15

I love reconnecting with clients and seeing the little ones grow! This week I welcomed Madison back to the studio. I saw her quite often for her portrait sessions while she participated in the First Reflections Program. This time, she brought her new baby brother, Cole, for his newborn session. They are both so cute and Madison is going to be a great big sister to Cole!

I have two younger sisters, so I had to transition from being an “only child” to being a “big sister.” I have to admit it was a bit of an adjustment for me to share my mom and dad with a new baby. With about 80% of American families having more than one child, lots of children welcome new siblings. Here are a few suggestions for helping your child make a smooth transition from “only child” to “big sister” or “big brother.”

• Prepare your child well in advance. Using age appropriate language, explain to your child what to expect when the baby arrives and how things will change. Books and videos that describe the fun and frustration of having a new sibling are available at libraries, bookstores, and online. These resources can help create teachable moments for you and your child. By including your child in preparatory activities (e.g., picking out a diaper bag, selecting an outfit to bring the baby home from the hospital, drawing pictures for the baby), you can help your child prepare for the new situation.

• Involve your child with the baby. Providing opportunities for your child to help in caring for the baby will lead to feelings of importance. Getting a clean diaper, selecting clothes during changing time, or singing or talking to the baby during fussy times will allow your child to play a special role with the baby and feel included in the new situation. Some children, however, cope with this type of situation by ignoring the baby. If this is the case, don’t push. Your child will come around in time.

• Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Recognize the normalcy of your child expressing a range of feelings with the addition of a new sibling. Your child is used to all of your time and attention and now is sharing you with a very needy baby. Acknowledging this situation and the associated feelings often diffuses disruptive behavior. For example, saying – “You seem to be sad right now. Do you want to tell me about it?” or “I know it can be frustrating for you when you want me and the baby needs me at the same time. “ – allows your child to express feelings in a productive manner and to know that you are there to listen.      

• Spend some time alone with your child. Although you will be very busy meeting the demands of a new baby, try to spend some uninterrupted time each day with your child. This could be just a few minutes engaged in reading, playing with trucks, or having a tea party. If you have friends and family available, have them help with the baby, allowing you to focus on your child. This “alone” time with you will make your child feel special and provide assurance of your love.