Baby Talk - 2/5/15

I had great fun this week shooting Harper's first birthday session. It is hard to believe that a year has passed since she was in the studio for her newborn session.

The first year of parenting has its ups and downs. I share a few thoughts on surviving it!

• Recognize that every baby is different. Many new moms read baby books and, although they contain lots of good information, no baby is a model baby. Don’t let the book stress you. If your baby is not rolling over at the exact time stated in the book, you are not a bad mom. If your friend’s baby can say 15 words and your baby is not speaking, you are not a bad mom. Every baby develops at its own pace and making comparisons between your baby and other babies only leads to more stress.

• Come to terms with not being supermom. Caring for a baby is really hard work. Accept that you will not always be on time, your house will not be pristine, there will be dirty dishes in the sink and piles of laundry, and you may not look (or smell!) your best at all times. Allow yourself the flexibility to accept this and to not feel like a failure. You can’t do it all, so ask for help from family and friends. Recognize that this craziness will pass all too quickly and later, when you look back, this will be only a fleeting moment in time. You want to remember the joys of your baby’s first year, not the time you spent doing everything else.

• Learn to accept unsolicited advice graciously. Babies are magnets for everyone’s attention and, consequently, you get everyone’s advice. Although well intended, it can leave you frustrated and questioning your parenting skills. Smile, say thanks, keep the tidbits you like, toss the rest, and let it go….be confident that you know what is best for your baby. 

• Find time to focus on your marriage. Although easier said than done, spending some time together as a couple is important. This can be as simple as watching a TV show while baby naps or enjoying ice cream and a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation. If family or friends can watch the baby for a few hours, going out to dinner or for a walk gives the relationship time to be nurtured. Acknowledging what you do for each other – your husband folds a load of laundry or you get up early with the baby so he can get a little more sleep  – goes a long way toward taking care of each other and the relationship.

The first year is a tough road, but every time your baby smiles, laughs, coos, or does something amazingly cute, you are instantly reminded of what is truly important.